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Regardless of what the passenger says, the following are not acceptable as carry-on items: bicycles, steamer trunks, refrigerators, truck tires, or wide-screen projection TVs.

Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

timber from forests), or by storing it in sealed reservoirs (i.e.

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A game which gives women something to try to think about while they are talking; 3.

What makes you tell your wife before someone else does; 10.

A floor covering that is bought by the yard and worn by the foot; 2.

Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.

The voice that tells you not to do something after you have done it; 9.

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.Brevity: Words that cover more ground than they occupy.A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.Buffet Dinner: Where the hostess doesn’t have enough chairs for everybody.What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny screen for more than 15 minutes; 2.CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.

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