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Instead, is there something they can do, somehow incorporating all of who he is into the relationship?
Some women would say, ‘As long as I have veto power, you can see men,’ meaning she can tell him not to date guys she thinks have a bad vibe.
They also were less likely to value unequal and traditional gender roles, according to Dr Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli, Senior Lecturer in Social Diversity in Health and Education at Deakin University and the co-author of the book .
“Because of this, these men were far more sensitive and desired to establish an equitable relationship. They were keen fathers and wanted to set up equitable gender relationships in the home.
In one case, a bisexual man made it clear he would be seeing other men but banned her from dating anyone else and confined her to their home to take care of their children. That’s what contributed to an unhealthy relationship,” she says.
Some couples found that while their relationship was stable, that they struggled to find acceptance in others.
“Some bi men and their partners felt they no longer belonged and were discriminated against by gay men and lesbians.
Some women who had been loved by gay men were now hearing comments like, ‘You’d better lock your boyfriends away, the female predator is here’,” says Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli. Is the bedroom a sacred space or can others come into bed with us? Are we going to do gendered monogamy - meaning the man could only date other men and the woman other women?
“The final third went on to continue their amazing relationship. Some of the women who were devastated when they found out would think to themselves, ‘I have to weigh that against the fact that he’s been the most sensitive, loving, and caring partner and father.
And he’s been great in bed.’ Suddenly, they had to ask themselves if it’s worth giving up this amazing man simply because he has desires and wants to have relationships with other men.
As Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli explains: “One: This is what I’m experiencing right now. As a result, if a man’s partner discovered his bisexuality by mistake - for instance by finding gay porn or a condom in his pocket - women generally responded in one of three ways.
By breaking up with the partner immediately; ending the relationship because of an unrelated issue; or communicating and navigation the situation.
It turned out that straight men were the ones with more emotional and misogynistic baggage.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating