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And, not only was I super happy, it also proved to be one of the most drama-free, stress-free dating experiences I've had in years.I realized that I chose to get involved because I knew I'd be OK when he and I did decide it was time to move on, because I've always been OK in the past.
at ironic dive bars and/or feels awesome going to parties where he only know three people.
Like "playing the triangle in a Mississippi-by-way-of-Brooklyn jug band," or "Kickstarting a docudrama series he plans to direct, produce, write and star in" or "enjoying a long and fulfilling career that is also his passion and will never require him to do anything he doesn't want to do." Oh, dear. His lack of direction inevitably leads you to start sounding like his parents — sometimes at inappropriate moments, like when your top is off. He still wants to have intellectual discussions with you over dinner because he misses the ones he had in college.
I have learned from these things that the only way -- I now believe -- to build a genuine relationship is to be in the moment and to be fully ourselves, without the constant fear about where it's going to go or if it's going to end.
This doesn't mean not to be clear on what you want from a relationship or partner, no way. This is a realization I've been fighting against accepting for years.
When there's no pressure on it, you can simply spend your time enjoying each other, getting to know each other and allowing it to unfold naturally. I didn't follow any "rules;" I said exactly what I felt like saying (in fact, I was incredibly honest and straightforward), and did exactly what I felt like doing.
It was very freeing, and is one of the reasons, I think, we had so much fun together (I'm sure the fact that he's incredibly laid back didn't hurt, either).
Sorry, I want to smash my face directly into my fresh rosemary pasta without discussing the recurring motifs of Francis Ford Coppola films. He can eat whatever and expects you to also be able to eat whatever.
Like when you're walking home drunk and he's like "Hey, we should eat something, lets stop at this place that's famous for their sour-cream-and-chili-covered hot dogs wrapped in bacon!!
I think one reason it was so stress-free and enjoyable is because I was present in each moment.
My energy wasn't spent worrying about whether it was going to go anywhere and when/if it was going to end. As much as I hate to admit it, when I've gone into dating someone in the past who I thought had the potential to be something serious, I've started putting pressure on it. We become so caught up in the of what that relationship could be rather than getting the chance to see if that person or that relationship is something we even want. If you're not worried about it ending or where it's going, then you're not worried about doing anything that might mess things up, so you're just completely yourself, like I was with him.
After all, you didn’t exactly grow up at the same time.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating