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"One common fantasy is, 'My family and friends will find someone new for me. "And then when they don't, you feel rejected." The other, she says, is the expectation that your grown children "just want you to be happy." It's rarely that simple.See all of the in these slideshows Others don't acknowledge, even to themselves, that their decision to start dating again is motivated primarily by the fear of being alone.

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"A huge mistake is to act like you're going right back to being 25.

It takes a while to realize this is not a re-do," Sills says.

"Take the attitude of, 'Let me see what you've got.' Men have a lot to offer, just rarely the 22 things you have on your list.

You may be at a time in your life where you don't need someone to make a whole life for you. But if you're paying attention, you'll learn a lot in the process."There are a lot of people who think that dating again must be awful and that they'd hate to have to do it.

Participating a bit in their new found need for adventure can bring you closer together instead of creating the distance that can cause the midlife crisis spouse to start questioning whether or not to stay in the marriage.

Some who go through a midlife crisis will experience depression that affects their mood and to the point that activities and relationships are negatively affected. If you think your spouse is suffering from depression watch for the following symptoms: I received a letter from Jason who was concerned about changes he was seeing in his wife.

In addition to her own hard-won lessons, she interviewed other women who were "just at the point of reentering"—or just past that point, women who had fresh experience with the anxiety, the fears, the trepidation, and yes, the thrill of reentering the dating world.

"I think your memories of this time of your life are like childbirth," Sills says, "A couple of years later, you don't remember what it was like."The trick to making a successful transition involves a lot more than meeting someone new, Sills says.

For most, it is a time of question priorities and adjusting their lifestyle to fit better with their emotional needs.

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