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They are as follows: In my experience, this internalized belief is the poison that prevents some gay men from building a healthy relationship, and also why many mess up the ones they already have. Few of us grow up unscathed by family, peers, and a society hostile to our attractions and behaviors.Some of us have been bullied as children; physically, verbally, and emotionally abused at tender ages by our peers and family members for being gay before we even recognized and understood our same-sex attractions.You think, maybe it’s just not possible for gay men to have long-term relationships.

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I have had several grieving gay men tell me: “If I move on, it will be like I am forgetting him” which is just not true.

A variation of this theme is when a relationship ends, but you just don’t want to let go of it—even if the guy is still alive.

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You keep coming up empty-handed, stymied in your efforts, no matter what you try.

All of this talk of legalized marriage just seems to make things worse, adding pressure from friends, family, and even yourself.

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In addition, you seek never ending reassurance (checking his cell phone, needing to know where he is at all times, demanding he tells you he loves you all of the time--you get the idea).

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