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We see questions like, “My husband/wife gave me herpes. ” or “How did I get herpes in a monogamous relationship? It has been such a frequently and consistently asked question that we decided to dive into it in a blog post.

The quickest answer to whether or not your partner cheated on you and gave you herpes is – Maybe, but probably not.

Because many people get oral herpes in their lifetime (remember, the CDC estimates that 75-80% of the US population has it), it is not uncommon at all for people to find out for the first time as adults that they have it after getting an STD test done.

It is very possible that your significant other passed oral herpes along to you in a similarly innocent act.

Sometimes individuals who have the virus (or both) never experience an outbreak at all.

They may never realize they carry HSV-1 or HSV-2, or both viruses.

You can, of course, also get herpes from sexual skin-on-skin contact, oral sex, intercourse or even anal sex if your partner has it.

Condoms during sex or dental dams during oral sex may not prevent all cases of herpes.

So if you only get tested for HSV-1 because you are experiencing a cold sore or because your partner said they have oral herpes, you could have HSV-2 instead (or both! This means that if you only get tested for HSV-1 instead of both herpes viruses, and your result is negative, you still may very well have HSV-2, but you don’t know since you didn’t get tested.

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