Oregon dating scene

I’ve loved dishing on our little mountain town over the last three-plus years, however infrequently, but I fell in love and got married and everything changed, in the best possible way (except for the leaving Bend part). I thought I’d be here forever, but then life threw me a curve ball. I had none of those, so Bend was a wee bit stand-offish. I adored the one-park-and-one-brewery-for-every-square-mile thing, the dog friendliness, the people friendliness (in passing, you always smile and say hi on the trail, and usually on the street too), the traffic circles (yield!! ), the 7,000 amazing hikes within a few hour radius – oh, and the maintained trails – you don’t appreciate that until you hike in a developing country… BUT one can complain about the ‘dating scene’ in any city really, except maybe the towns in Alaska where men outnumber women 2 to 1 – and even then there’s something to kvetch about, I’m sure.

Bend isn’t the kind of place that will naturally envelop you in a metaphorical snuggie – unless you have some Bend social currency, like you’re a former pro athlete, you would sooner give up breathing than give up your chosen -ing (boarding, skiing, kayaking, climbing, biking, etc…), you have kids and/or jobs that provide organic opportunities for friendships, etc. I loved The Workhouse, Newport Market, CHOW, Hot Box Betty, The Drake – especially Bob’s gnocchi, Derek’s bespoke cocktails, Mel’s always-warm welcome, Ted’s laid-back hospitality, Chef John Gurnee’s geniusness and general love of fennel – and the River Trail. Well, I won’t sugar coat it: The dating scene in Bend is not exactly vibrant for the over-35 set.

Here’s the bottom line: (excuse me while I step onto this soapbox here) Love isn’t some wilting flower that will only grow in pristine idyllic environs; it will find you; it will hunt you down if it must; it is hardy and relentless – even if dormant at times. Don’t listen to anyone’s yammerings about how wonderful the dating scene is or isn’t.

If you’re single and looking, stop looking and start living. FYI, I married a man I knew for six years, we knew each other when I lived in LA. If it wasn’t for falling in love, I’d still be in Bend, having a different sort of adventure.

Short answers mean that you have not read this and will be immediately denied.

The main things we seek in our members are:• Understanding of sex-positivity. We are a community.• Related experience or learning (books, workshops, friendship circles).

Anyone can attend Level 1 events so please feel free to bring a friend or loved one.

However, if you wish to attend Level 2 or higher events you must attend an Orientation, Awesome Boundaries, a Social and pay your annual dues.Our real world events include classes, discussion groups, workshops, socials, parties, festivals, and more.They range from member hosted events (in homes, parks, restaurants, etc.), outings together where we might go watch and signature events (facilitated events like our snuggles, couple/triads massages, and parties), that are created by Sex Positive Portland and led by its core volunteers. Also, moving away from the Drake and the stellar staff and management (who became my most favorite people in Bend)… Maybe it was the fact that we went on 5 mile runs on Sundays in ANY weather with a pitstop in the middle at Mc Kay’s Cottage for manmosas, or maybe it was the fact that we both love words and sort of fell out of love with God in our 20s. I didn’t even meet the super cool neighbors on my street until I had a going-away garage sale. Not to mention saying goodbye to my Valley-dwelling mom, dad, grandfather, aunt, uncle, cousins etc. You know, I met a lot of really nice and interesting people over the years, but the only friendship that really stuck was my friendship with The Poet (she may make an appearance here in the future since the new BGTB chicas are fans as well). Beginner’s Guide to Bend isn’t really about me, it’s about offering a glimpse into the REAL Bend Oregon. So I eventually gave up and retreated back into my little solo world. Sex Positive Portland is a real community of open-minded, fun, and awake people.

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