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So you finally landed a date — hooray, you old fox! And as you map out the journey by air, land, and sea to this unknown hood that is light years way, you slowly realize that this isn’t going to work out..
The deluge of technology means no matter where you go: on the street, in waiting rooms, on the train, at concerts — everyone is perpetually glued to their phones, and perpetually not looking up at you. The bright side is they’re probably swiping away on some dating app, which brings us to…Hooking Up, “talking,” polyamorous, non-monogamous, hanging out, seeing each other, sometimes dates girls, sometimes dates guys, asexual but likes to f*ck, hookups ONLY, sapiosexual but not a snob about it (whatever that means), bottom, top, etc.
By the time you’ve gone through someone’s entire laundry list of identities and commitment preferences, you can’t help but wonder if this person is looking for a romantic partner or trying to fill out a census form.
It is not fascinating to me. p.m.: I go to the bathroom for a quick moment of an introvert’s retreat because I am still not fascinated.
(Also, I’m scared I have a booger in my nose.) p.m.: No booger. p.m.: I realize I have been in the bathroom for far too long, and there is no way my date won’t think I am pooping. p.m.: I discover that my date has ordered cocktail number 3. p.m.: I consider telling him I wasn’t pooping in the bathroom. p.m.: Eventually, I decide not to.
Meeting a native Bay Area dweller who actually plans on sticking it out to the bitter end is a rare feat (they all most likely moved to the East Bay).
You’ll meet people from all over the world on your dating escapades, but don’t get too close.
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